Ridiculous Day

WARNING: Information may be exaggerated!

STINKBUGS (AKA Darkling beetles) ARE INVADING SAN DIEGO!!!!!! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (Actually, they're pretty cute! ^_^)

But that's not the POINT of this entry!

For days I've been plagued by late Spanish class homework. I worked on it all Sunday and I skipped class yesterday just to finish it. I tried finishing every drop of it last night...but I ended up serenading to Mike over the internet. (He logged off without ever saying anything.) This morning I FINALLY finished (most of) every bitch ass assignment!

When I came to class, my professor was all grumpy and shit. So grumpy, she didn't feel like giving us directions on a class assignment. She told us to teach ourselves. We wasted a lot of paper. We killed too many trees. Then we got into groups and we had to make up sentences about a boy shooting up heroin. At the end of class, I spoke to mi profesora:

Me: *Speaks shyly.* I wasn't here yesterday...and I was at the testing center last Thursday, so I wasn't in class that day...can I still turn in my homework...?
Profesora: You keep coming late to class! *Pauses.* Just leave it on my table.
Me: *Puts it on the table and walks away.*

I was stressed. I decided to buy green tea and kill time at the college transfer center. (University brochures always push me to do my homework!) While I was there, a stinkybug crawled on to my backpack! I swiped it. It came back! I lift it with papers. It came back! I air lifted it. It came back! I grabbed it with my hands. It stunk my hands! Finally, I took my backpack outside and swiped it off. Then I washed my hands.

I came late to my Cross-Cultural Studies class. To my surprise, all the students in the room were taking a test!

Me: *Thinks to herself.* What the fuck?! Am I in the wrong class, one that is assigning a test right now?
Professor: *Makes beckoning hand gesture.*
Me: *Walks towards professor.*
Professor: Did you take the test Thursday?
Me: Yeah.
Professor: Go home. :)
Me: Okay, bye. *Walks away.*

Last Thursday the class was suppose to have a test, but the professor was absent. Regardless, I took the test at the testing center that day. Only when I walked out of class today I realized that the professor wasn't there last Thursday and that the test was postponed to today. Therefore, I had no CCS class today! :)

I didn't go home. Tuesdays are always cleaning days. I always have to stay out of the cleaning lady's way. That means I can't come home until she's done cleaning.

I was hungry and thirsty. I wanted to do my homework in a nice, quiet, air-conditioned place. The people at my college's library and tech mall always bitch at me when I eat, drink, and use my cellphones inside. Therefore, I had to find a peaceful place to eat, drink, study, and use my cellphone. The only place: the first floor of San Diego State University's library. SDSU, out of all places!

I took the bus there and made my way through the campus entrance. All of the sudden, I came to a sex booth! A girl asked if I wanted to throw rings around some dildos. "Sure, why not?" I thought. While standing an "intimate distance" away, I threw the rings at the dildos and I missed all of them! :( Then I signed up for a raffle and was given a condom, condom instructions, bubblegum-flavored lube, a sticker, and Hershey's Kisses, all courtesy of Planned Parenthood's VOX program of SDSU! :D

After that feminist perversion, I walked to the nearest cheap restaurant --- McDonald's! McDonald's, out of all places! In my world, that unhealthy, corporate-ruling restaurant chain doesn't exist. Unfortunately, I was hungry for a meal that wouldn't bust my wallet. Fucking dollar menus!

I came back to SDSU and saw THE GREENPEACE RECRUITERS!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Fortunately, I avoided them. I often see these people at my college. I strongly support helping the environment and animals, but I don't want to make monthly donations! At least I didn't see that non-stop-talking lady from my college, who was praising Greenpeace last time I saw her. She was probably singing too.

I went to the library and studied my brain to death. Drank energy shit too. I did Spanish homework and read, read, read my history textbook until my brained died. "Please, NO MORE!!!" my brain begged.



I then decided to visit the turtle pond. While I was looking around, there was a turtle that kept crawling out of the pond and into the street! "I WANT OUT OF HERE!!!!!" it yelled. A guy picked it up and dropped it into the pond. "Hell, I'd want out too!" the guy said to me. Then the turtle crawled out again and into the street. I picked it up and put it in the pond.

Me: I know you want to leave, but this [pond] is your home. *Places it in pond.*
Turtle: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!! *Crawls out.*
Me: *Picks turtle up and places it at the other side of the pond, further away from the street.*
Turtle: FUCK YOU!!!!!!! *Swims and pouts.* This blows!
Fishes: *Point and laughs.*

I sit down and I notice a journal. Someone left it! I peak through the pages. They were all class notes, unfortunately. :( XD Luckily, the owner's phone number was written in the book so I called and left her a message about he journal.

Then my friend calls me, like he does five times a day.

Friend: [Girlfriend's name] and I broke up.
Me: What happened?
Friend: She said it's her, not me, and that she might be in love with another guy.
Me: Blaming it on herself is another way for her to say she doesn't like you. Don't delve on this too much. (You've already been through this before.) *Hangs up.*

Then he calls again.

Friend: Are we still seeing Iron Man this Friday?
Me: Yes.
Friend: Okay. Bye. *Hangs up.*

Then my mom calls me about picking me up. She calls me a thousand times. While she was calling me, the girl with the missing journal calls. I tell her where her journal was and I, unfortunately, cut the conversation short because my mom was starting to get impatient.

Later, I come home. I'm tired and I'm sick of homework. My sister comes and forces me to go shopping with her. She doesn't like shopping alone. While we're on our way to get ale for her boyfriend and buy a pufferfish, my friend calls again.

Friend: I can't get over this. I'm mostly concerned with the guy [girlfriend's name] likes. He's 25 years old!
Me: Don't think about her! Think about Iron Man instead!

Friend: *Pauses.* You want me to fall in love with Tony Stark? You know I'm not gay.
Me: Hey, Robert Downey Jr. is cool! In fact, I'd soooo be gay for him!
My sister: That doesn't make sense!
Me: Shut up and drive!